About 3 months ago, me and my best friend got into the worst argument we had ever had and shit hit the fan to say the least. For me personally, our friendship hadn’t been the same for months..
I constantly had to explain myself to her if i couldn’t afford to go out or do certain things or simply if i was busy and we couldn’t hang out that day. No matter what i did it wasn’t good enough. She made our friendship feel more like a relationship and it was a relationship that no-one would want to find themselves in.
Our arguing went on for days and in the end i finally lost it. I’m usually such a push over and my friend was so used too walking all over me that when i finally turned around and told her that no, she was in the wrong and i wasn’t taking any of her crap again she got a wake up call.
In flooded the apologies but the minute i tried to talk things through because of all the stuff she had said towards me she became defensive and it just made me realise that she wasn’t sorry, and that finally i had seen that for so long she hadn’t been a good friend and that she didn’t deserve my time or energy.
A best friend is someone who you are meant to be able to confide in, who doesn’t judge you and is undoubtedly there for you and she was not that. She called me names, made fun of me, and judged me for everything yet also expected me to do everything for her and not judge her when she cheated on her boyfriend numerous times. .(just saying)
Were still friends on social media, i’m not that petty but i’m so over it now. For the first month of not being friends i thought daily about whether i had made the right decision or not, but as i learned of things she had done, and this time i was an outsider looking in i realised that i really had made the right decision because before i would have laughed off her foolish and stupid antics but from a different perspective i was shocked because they really aren’t okay. She hurts people for the fun of it, because it makes her feel better and that really made me realise i had done the right thing.
Friendship break ups are horrible. Weird. All of a sudden theres this huge space where it was once filled with fun and laughter from your best friend and now its just empty and silent. But in the last few weeks its filled with fun and laughter again but just from others who are good for me. As my tagline says i’m doing what makes my soul happy and my soul really is happy now i have got rid of the bad feelings within my circle, and replaced it with nothing but good people.
My advice to anyone who is worried that a friend is no longer a friend, is to not be afraid to take a step back from them, distance yourself and see if you miss them or not. That was a huge thing for me, i simply did not miss the friendship and that made me realise just how toxic it was.
However, i have grown so much within the last 3 months, that may sound silly but i really have. I used to be a coward. I never spoke my mind and say how i really felt and it just made people think they could walk all over me, which now is not the case. If i have feelings i speak them. If i don’t agree with someone or something i make it known. Obviously i do this when it is appropriate i don’t just go round telling people my exact thoughts because that would just be rude. But my point is, i’m finally being me, feeling confident and it really does feel amazing.
So to my old best friend.. If you ever read this please know theres no hate there, or strange feelings. I was simply tired of a friendship that wasn’t a friendship anymore. I finally did something that made me feel better instead of making everyone else feel better. If you are ever in need of a place to stay my front door remains open like i always told you it would. That hasn’t changed. All thats changed is my priorities. I was never one of your priorities otherwise you wouldn’t have treated me the way you did. Therefore i no longer made you one of mine, and i feel better for it. I hope your doing well and continue to do well x
If you have read this far then thank you. Sometimes just letting it all out makes me feel so much better and i hope some of this resonated with you.
Have a wonderful week!! x