So for the past week or so i have taken some time out from social media and blogging to focus on me. There has been a lot going on in my personal life that i just needed to get my head around and come to terms with. In order to help myself with that i’m simply going to let it all out here.
The stressful week or so began last Tuesday when my friend had to come and stay with me and my family for a few days when she was kicked out of her house after an argument with her parents. I honestly LOVED having my bestie with me for those few days and living together was actually quite fun but it was so stressful getting her back on her feet and sorting things with her parents. It was stressful just seeing how upset and hurt she was and how much she just wanted to go home, curl up in a ball in her own bed and get the rest she needed. I’ve never seen my friend like that before and it was awful so it really was such a relief when things were resolved and she was able to go home and feel so much better, even though i’ve missed her ever since! (Soppy i know but she’s my bestie!!)
That same week my sister had her baby, a beautiful little girl who she has now named Isabel! Healthy, happy and with a head full of hair! However, if any of you have read my previous post My Sister Isn’t My Sister then you’ll know me and my sister don’t see each other often at all and don’t have the best relationship..
Therefore, when it came to me and my Dad going round to see them both, my sister decided to tell my dad that i wasn’t welcome to go round and meet my new niece at that point even though he was, as she only wanted people who had been in their life and were important to meet the baby first and everyone else could go at a later date.. As you can imagine this really shocked me and it broke my heart if i’m honest. I completely understand and agree that both me and my sister don’t have the greatest relationship. We are both pretty vacant in one another’s lives and it has been that way for a little while now but at the end of the day we’re sisters. Always have been and we always will be. I have found it so hard to come to terms with this whole situation. I couldn’t even tell you why me and my sister have been so vacant in one another’s lives for so long now but i never meant for things to end up that way and its most certainly not how i want them to continue either. But i just don’t understand why she would do that. Why ring up our Dad and tell him that his other daughter and your own sister isn’t welcome to come round with you that evening but your still welcome to come… Who even does that? Its just so unnecessary and spiteful. I just don’t understand.. Ive done a lot of thinking about all of this and i decided to simply let it be and i told my dad to arrange with my sister as to when we can go round and see them and ill just come with him because she doesn’t respond to my text messages so i doubt if i reached out she would reply!
Yet here comes the plot twist..
Here i am last night, plodding along in work and watching the England match in the office on my iPad with everyone else in-between serving customers, and i casually just check my phone and theres a text message from my sister.. SHOCK.
I instantly turn to my friend (my bestie who had stayed with me early last week) and told her and even she was shocked! I honestly had to pause for a good few minutes because after everything i just simply wasn’t expecting it. The message was inviting me to go round later today and see my sister and my new niece whilst my auntie and uncle were there as there over here visiting from Spain where they live. I was honestly shocked but i thought to myself, if i want my relationship with my sister to improve then i’m going to simply have to move on, push past the hurtful thing she did and be the bigger and better person. Simply because arguing with her when she clearly thinks it was okay to do what she did isn’t going to change anything and if anything it will make things worse. So later today, i’m going to go round, and simply enjoy the time with my sister and new niece and let it be the fresh start of a new chapter. Im going to take presents for both my sister and niece and simply show that from me there are no hard feelings, i do care about them both immensely and that i want us to have a relationship from here on out!
On top of all of this my shifts at work have been here, there and everywhere and i’ve just felt so out of it and tired and lethargic and run down that its simply made me feel worse. I’m really hoping that after seeing my sister today that i’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and a day off as well today will help me feel so much better! I also hope that a day off will give me the much needed me time that i’m so desperately in need of! So that sums up why i have been pretty absent on social media recently. I just needed some space from worrying about tweeting or instagramming or worrying about when my next post needed to be scheduled. I just needed some time to gather my thoughts and come back refreshed! Thank you to all of you who have been patient with me and are sat here right now reading this. I appreciate you!
Have a fun weekend everyone!